You don't know what you don't know!

Each one of us has a blind spot.  There are things we do that we don't realize we're doing it.  When I was in my 20s, a friend and I ate dinner with a family we knew.  After we left the dinner he asked me what was wrong with me.  He told me I'd been making sounds as I ate that sounded like a car or some other type of machinery.  Of course I'd not realized I was doing it and I couldn't explain why but I understood why it was something I needed to become aware of and stop.  Once he pointed it out to me, and we developed a signal so that if he noticed it again he could let me know so I could regulate the behavior I was able to understand what triggered the behavior and how to stop it.  As simple as this example is think about how many other blind spots have even more importance to you.  You might not know for example that your hygiene is off putting or that you have certain phrases you use that drive people bananas.  I have a friend who says, "Like, I mean, you know", as a single uninterrupted phrase.  Everyone notices it but I don't think anyone has mentioned it to him.  I know I haven't.  I owe him this feedback so that he can improve.

Each of  us needs to look for the blind spots we have and develop the courage to ask for feedback.  A close friend was going for an interview and asked me over a basket of wings, what blind spots I could illuminate.  He'd given me advanced notice so I'd had time to think about it.  We don't work together so I couldn't base it on his competence, it had to be based on a behavior I'd observed.  I told him of my feedback and he asked a few clarifying questions.  Rather than either of us being uncomfortable in the moment, he expressed gratitude for the window into his blind spot and I felt good about being able to help my friend.

Donald Rumsfeld was mocked for his famous saying about known and unknown unknowns.  Its very clear, and I've experienced it many times, sometimes we really are unaware of our own gaps, limits, ignorance, and bothersome behaviors.

A clear strength of character exists when someone is humble enough to know that they don't have all knowledge and that they need someone who can view them objectively to help them through their blind spots.

I talks about this in my book.  Don't Crap Where you Eat!.  Consider getting a copy to learn more about this topic, and several others.